The Break Up
by Mrnickmiller
Summary: Nick's new colleague takes a shine to him and decides to cause some trouble between him and Jess. Can Jess trust Nick? Can Nick forgive Jess for not trusting him? My take on the break up. My first fanfic please be kind. **I don't own any of the charcaters or any part of New Girl unfortunately**
1. Chapter 1

Jess was tired she knew she should go home, she had an early start in the morning but she couldn't bring herself to leave the bar. She had barely seen Nick in two weeks and she was really starting to miss him. Christmas time was always busy at Clyde's and it was the time of year he made the most extra cash so she didn't want to complain. She was perched on a stool at the end of the bar with her head resting on her hand. She was so happy just to stare at him and watch him work. Nick would always complain and joke about his job but the truth is he worked damn hard. He had worked back to back shifts for days and he looked exhausted. Her heart ached for him a little bit.

Just as she was getting lost in her thoughts he walked over wearing a tired smile. "hey you" he said as he leaned over the bar to kiss her gently. He  
lowered his head slightly as she ran her hands through his hair kissing his forehead."I'm so sorry Jess I really wanted some time with you tonight but it's just so cra..." She kissed him on the lips cutting him off. "You don't need to apologise to me Nick, I'm here, you're here and right now that's enough".

Thats wasn't strictly true and they both knew it, it wasn't enough.

Nick hated how much he was at the mercy of the bar, he couldn't just say no to a shift, he couldn't just take a few days off. There was a thousand college students lined up to snap up his job if he did and Shane wasn't known for her flexibility where he was concerned. He had seen so little of Jess though,she had come to the bar almost every night but truth be told that made him feel more guilty.

As they continued to lean across the bar towards one another playing with each others hands Jess' attention was drawn to Shane who standing at the back of the bar talking to two young girls who couldnt have been more than 20 or 21. It still made jess uncomfortable that Shane still worked there but she never mentioned it to Nick, he had no control over it after all.

Nick followed Jess stare to see what she was looking at over his shoulder. "oh them...two newbies Shane has taken on. She's trying to draw a younger crowd in here or some crap like that but hey if they help me get some time off then I'm all for it" Nick said casually.

"They look pretty young" Jess said her brow furrowed and her eyes squinting in their direction.

"Yep looks like I'll have to brush up on my MTV, or is it Saved by the Bell...Sesame Street?" Nick said jokingly, trying to elicit a chuckle from her as  
he noticed a wave of concern go over her face. He knew it sill bothered Jess that he worked with Shane even though she never mentioned last thing he wanted to do was say anything to make that worse. As her face cracked into a smile he went to kiss her again just as Shane called over to him.

"Miller, it's really lovely to see you relaxing with your little friend while we're so busy but if you would be kind enough to spare a moment I need you  
to show Stacey and Victoria how to change the barrels"

Jess, always trying to be the bigger person, mustered a smile at Shane which was met blankly. She took that as her cue to leave.

"Hey Nick you're busy I'm gonna take off."

"No wait five minutes and I'll walk you to your car"

"No no it's fine really I parked right outside" Jess gathered up her books and bag and leaned over to kiss Nick on the cheek. "I'll keep the bed warm for  
you" she whispered as she pecked him again and walked away. Nick just sighed as he watched her leave wanting so badly to leave with her.

"Miller let's go" Shane barked. He turned slowly on his heels and followed the girls down to the basement.

Nick continued to patiently go through the dos and don'ts of changing the barrels with the strong sense that neither of them were listening. He felt himself getting more annoyed as they muttered and giggled to one another every time his back was turned. All he wanted was to be at home with Jess in bed talking, laughing and making love which is exactly what his mind had drifted to when he realised the girls had stopped talking and were staring  
right at him expectantly.

"uh so that's basically it, I think we're done here for now." Nick made a start to leave as Stacey grabbed his arm stopping him.

"Wait, I think I need you to show me one more time, there are a couple of things I didn't get"

Nick tensed up at the overfamiliar arm grab from someone he had just met. He knew she was messing with him, but he also knew that if one bad word got back to Shane he would be out of there. He sighed and restarted the process. Once again Stacey started whispering to the other girl and Nick could feel his annoyance starting to rise.

An hour or so later as Nick was mixing cocktails for a group of women had come right after work and proceeded to get louder and more intoxicated, Stacey appeared next to him and started drying glasses.

"So that was your girlfriend who was in here earlier? I say girlfriend cos I don't see a ring...not totally off the market yet huh?"

Nick looked at her and shifted a little uncomfortably. "yeah, Jess, she's my girlfriend"

"Cool, cool, so have you guys been together long?"

"6 months" Nick answered reluctantly staring away from her.

"Oh ok so it's still early days then...does she come in here a lot"

"She has lately cos we havent seen much..." Nick trailed off. "Look I gotta get these drinks over to those women so could you see to these other customers please...thanks" he said with a half hearted smile as he walked away with the tray of drinks.

Stacey served the handful of guys standing at the bar glancing at Nick every minute or so. When the last customer had walked off with his whiskey Stacey sauntered over to Victoria

"What do you think of Nick?"

"What do you mean?" Victoria asked as she stacked the clean glasses back on the shelves

"Do you think he's cute? I think he's really cute in a rough manly kinda way"

"I think he's way too old for you and I think he's spoken for...that's what I think" Victoria replied dismissively,  
before disappearing down into the cellar.

"hmmm" Stacey sounded to herself cooly disregarding her colleagues comment as she continued to glare at Nick.


	2. Chapter 2

Nick crept through the door a little after three, too exhausted to change or even brush his teeth he headed straight toward Jess' room. He noticed right away her door was open and as he peered in little more he saw she wasn't in her bed. Nick turned knowingly towards his bedroom door and turned the handle as quietly as he could, careful not to let too much light into the room.

He could make out her small dimly lit form in his bed. A wave of guilt passed over him, he knew she only slept in his room alone on nights when she missed him. She had told him that after the first few night shifts he had worked after they got together.

After shucking off his shirt, socks and jeans he padded round to his side of the bed and slid carefully under the covers. As he rolled toward her back he was filled with her scent, closing his eyes as he breathed in.

"Hey, you're home" a small, groggy voice whispered.

"Sorry I tried not to wake you" Nick said as he apologetically kissed her shoulder "go back to sleep".

Jess rolled over toward him burying her face in his neck, her hands pressed against his chest as he pulled her into a tight embrace. He never felt more calm than when he was with her, he was able to shut the world out and just be. Nick felt the weight of the day pulling on his eyelids but as Jess slowly started stroking his chest, he opened his eyes and they lcoked with hers, even in the dark he could always see them twinkling.

"Hi" he breathed as he gently nudged her nose with his own.

"Hi"

Nick was aware he had started stroking her back underneath her shirt just as her hand made its way into his hair pulling his head down towards her own. He sighed into her mouth, a mixture of relief and want. He pulled away and began to unbutton her shirt slowly, his gaze never leaving hers. It had become like that between them now, always so intense. Eye contact during sex had always made him uncomfortable before but with her it was different he needed to know she was there with him and she always was.

With hands, breath and bodies interwined they made love slowly for what seemed like hours. God they had missed this.

Nick felt a gentle hand rake through his hair the next morning and with a soft kiss on the forhead she was gone for another day.

(The next evening)

"Hey Nick" Stacey squeaked as she leaned over the bar toward him knowing all too well how much cleavage she was showing.

"Hi...um...look Stacey I'm sorry if I was a grouch yesterday I was just tired you know" Nick was feeling surprisingly chipper after his night with Jess and decided he might have been a little harsh on Stacey and Victoria.

"That's ok I can handle mean and moody, I like a challenge" she said with that same smirk on her face that Nick couldn't quite figure out. He decided to lay it on the table.

"Are you always this ...flirty?"

"Yes" she said matter of factly "is that a problem?" and with that she walked away before Nick had the chance to answer. Nick shook his head and laughed, he knew once upon a time he would have gone for it a let her flirt with him and he probably would have ended up back at her apartment or vice versa but things were so different now, he was different.

A few hours into his shift and the bar had become crazy again, it was the 20th Decemeber and people were starting to cut loose, really loose. Nick had spent the last few hours mixing cocktails named after body parts, clenching his fists to refrain from punching every guy in a suit who clicked his fingers at him and trying to calm down the regulars who didn't take too kindly to the newbies serving them the wrong whiskey. To top it all off Stacey has just dropped her third tray of drinks in 45 minutes.

"What the hell Stacey?" Nick half yelled under his breath after he marched over to the booth where she was unsuccessfuly scrambling round on the floor.

"I'm sorry I just couldn't...I don't know...I couldn't"

"Stacey are you drunk?"

"Nooo I'm not drunk I just did I couple of shots, they were from a customer and I didn't want to be rude but I'm fine, really...I...I'm fine"

"You gotta be kidding me?" Nick sighed as he dropped his head."Go wait in the back now, I'll clear this up!"

"I'm sorry Nick" she breathed in his face as she interlocked her hands over his shoulder steadying herself before she disappeared out the back of the bar.

A little after 1am after the bar had quietened down Nick found a slightly sobered up Stacey out back sitting on the wall with her knees hugged up to her chest with a sweater pulled down over them. His sweater.

"Shane will fire you if she finds out about this Stacey and why are you wearing my sweater"

"I was cold and it was all I could find. Look she doesn't need to find out does she, it was just a mistake. Like I said I didn't want to be rude to the customer and well I guess I lost track of how much I'd had"

Nick paused.

"Find I'll let it slide this once but you cannot do that to me again Stacey, just go home and we'll deal with this tomorrow"

"Nick?"

"What?"

"Could you drive me home?"

Nick exhaled loudly pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Please Nick I can't get a cab at this time and you know I can't drive. I guess I could walk but..."

"Fine, dammit, let's just go now so I can go home"

They climbed into Nick's car and Stacey sunk down in the passenger seat, just in time to miss Shane leaving her office, at the same time the bar started to clear out, at the same time Big Bob started to lock up.

At the same time Jess pulled into the parking lot.


	3. Chapter 3

Jess' heart dropped and pushed the air out of her lungs on the way down. As her face became hot with panic, she could hear her brain screaming at her to be rational and stay calm. This wasn't what she thought, Nick would not do that to her. She tried desperately to find a logical reason why Nick would be driving off with another woman in the early hours of the morning - she was struggling.

She wanted to get out the car but she didn't. She wanted to follow them but she couldn't. She was terrified of what she would discover, terrified that it would be something that would mean all of this was over. As she watched the tail lights turn round the corner she let out the breath she didn't know she was holding and with shaking hands turned the key in the ignition and headed back to the loft.

Earlier in the day one of Jess' favourite but more problematic students had been expelled. She had put everything into Anthony to get him to turn it all around but it wasn't enough and she was heartbroken knowing how much harder the kid's life had just become. She hadn't been able to sleep and she just wanted to see Nick, to talk to him about it. He always made her feel better, he knew what it was she needed to hear and when she just needed a hug or someone to yell at. He was supposed to make her feel better tonight and help her sleep but now she lay in her bed more awake than ever, her stomach churning.

He still wasn't home.

A little over an hour later Jess heard the front door open and she instantly felt nervous. My God this was Nick, her Nick, she shouldn't feel like this.

As he made his was into her room, into her bed she could feel all the questions she wanted to ask push their way to the front of her mouth but they didn't come out. She didn't even open her eyes.

As he threw his arm over her she felt like she wanted to cry. Tonight she didn't turn round and kiss his neck, she didn't grab his hand to pull it up to her chest, she didn't rub her feet against his to warm them up. She didn't do anything.

The next morning Jess forced down some breakfast as she pretended to listen to Schmidt talking about what he should wear to his office Christmas party. She though she had picked up on enough words to seem like she was following the conversation.

"Jess you're not even listening to me, this is important."

" I am Schmidt, I agree with the first thing you said, you know...the first thing...wear that."

"well, the first thing I said was nothing but a few strategically placed sleigh bells Jessica so clearly you are in fact not listening. What's with you this morning?"

"Nothing I..." she heard Nick cough in the other room "look I gotta go I'm gonna be late, I'll see you later."

"Jess it's only..." the door slammed "...6.30." Schmidt frowned and buried his head in the newspaper.

When Nick surfaced a few hours later he padded into the kitchen for some much needed coffee. As he reached for the pot he noticed and note scrawled with Schmidt's handwriting.

_Nicholas, _

_Jessica is pissed off, do something, buy something, clean something. _

_Schmidt._

Why would she be mad, had something happened, was she mad at him? Half alsleep he grabbed for his phone and started to type.

Jess left school in a hurry with a clearer head. She had thought about it all day and then though about it some more and it didn't make sense. After eveything it took for them to be togeher, he wouldn't ruin. She knew him. She even felt silly for thinking it.

Jess went straight to the bar eager to see Nick. Even though he had no idea what she'd seen or had been thinking for the past 24 hours she still felt guilty.

As the after-work crowd had started to fill up the bar Jess apologetically squirmed her way to the front where she was greeted by Victoria.

"Hey Jess"

"Hey there, is Nick here"

"Uh no he's not here...I think Bob spoke to him today lemme check" as Victoria disappeared to the back of the bar Jess scanned the room. Why wasn't he here?

(Behind the bar)

"Give it to her Victoria"

"No you give to her, I'm busy Stacey"

"Please just give it to her, I can't, Shane just called me to her office and I gotta go. Please"

"Fine fine"

Jess could see Victoria talking to Stacey, there was no sign of Bob. She was starting to get impatient just as Victoria reappeaed. She leaned toward Jess yelling slightly over the din of multiple conversations.

"Yeah Nick's not here, Bob is on his way in to cover for him, maybe give him a call"

"Oh ok thanks, he's at home then I guess, I'll see you later" Jess turned to make her way back through the crowd.

"Oh Jessica wait...here can you give this to Nick...he left it at Stacey's apartment last night"

Jess ran her thumb over Nick's sweater and smiled weakly at an oblivious Victoria who was once again busying herself pouring drinks.


	4. Chapter 4

Guess who has the night off. Come to roof when you get home from work ok. Love you.

Jess stared at the text from Nick unaware that the traffic lights had changed. The car horn behind broke her from her thoughts and she slammed a foot on the accelerator. He had been in her apartment. She was fighting so hard not to jump to conclusions but the slightest thought of Nick with another woman made her nauseous. She loved him so much and every time her mind started to go down that route she had to physically shake the thought out of her head. It doesn't mean anything Jess. It doesn't mean anything.

She climbed the stairs to the roof still unable to shake the nervous feeling in her belly. As she opened the door to the chilly air she saw Nick fussing over a picnic basket. There were candles and mini flashing Christmas tree on the table. He hadn't heard her behind him giving her an extra moment to steel herself. She pulled her coat around her and walked up to place a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey you're home" his kissed her cheek firmly smiling from ear to ear.

"I went by the bar but you weren't there..."

"Yeah, look Jess I know we haven't seen enough of each other lately and I know you're probably really pissed at me about that so I wanted to do something special tonight, we've only got a couple of days together before you head back Portland sooooo I thought I'd take the night off and we could have our own little Christmas dinner together. Look we got some egg nog, some mince pies and..."

"Nick where were you last night?"

There was a thick pause. Don't lie to me Nick please don't lie she kept saying over in her head.

"Jess I..."

"Were you with Stacey?"

Nick felt his chest start thundering and his face heat up.

"What? No, I mean yes but no not like that. She got drunk at the bar and I drove her home but that's it Jess I swear to God" Nick felt his heart getting faster.

"But you left your sweater there?"

"What?"

"Your sweater. She had it. She said you left it in her apartment. Why were you in her apartment at that time of night Nick?"

"I wasn't in her apartment - I wasn't with her Jess. She was wearing it is all"

"Oh so she's just casually wearing your clothes now...the way I do...is that it"

"Jess no" he put his hands on her face forcing her to look at him "Jess you have this all wrong, I didn't touch Stacey I would never ever do that, you have to believe me."

Jess lowered her eyes, she was still playing with Nick's sweater in her hands like it was the missing clue to something she was still trying to figure out.

"Jess you do believe me don't you."

She did an almost imperceptible nod. A gesture so small that it did nothing to ease Nick's mind that they were ok, did she not trust him?

"It's just I saw you leave with her and I panicked and..."

"Wait you were at the bar last night?"

"I was in the parking lot, I wanted to see you I needed to see you but you were leaving...with _her_ and I don't know Nick I just...I didn't like it"

"Jess listen to me, I love you more than I could ever love anyone. I'm not interested in being with anyone else. Ever. Ok?"

"Ok" Jess whispered as she let Nick's thumbs stroke her cheeks. "I'm sorry Nick" She shook her head as if she was trying to shake away the last few minutes from their lives.

"Hey hey" he dismissed her apology as he pulled her into his chest his hand stroking the top of her head. "Let's just forget about it, come on we only have 48 hours together before we both leave and I'm starving." Jess mustered a grin as he pulled her towards the table. He pulled her chair out and kissed the top of her head as she sat down. She watched him pour the egg nog and exhaled allowing her shoulders to relax.

(At the bar)

"I thought you said Nick was working tonight" Winston said said impatiently. He hadn't had to wait longer than 2 minutes for drink in years and he was getting irked"

"He should be, I have a copy of his roster on my desktop"

"Well get Bob's attention then, I ain't paying for drinks man"

"Bob" Schmidt yelled down the bar "Bob...Bobby...Robert"

"Hey I kinda like my ear drums buddy I'd like to keep em in tact" Stacey barked at Schmidt as she pushed down his flailing attention seeking arms. "Can I get you boys a drink or what?"

"Um no...well yeah...thing is we're Nick's friends" Schmidt mouthed his words as though it was some kind of illegal exchange. "You know ...Nick Miller" He did it again.

"Oh I get it so you guys aren't ones for parting with the pennies am I right?"

"We're still more than willing to tip you handsomely though".The grin that accompanied Schmidt's schmoozing was off the scale.

"Look I got it, I got it, any friend of Nick Millers is a friend of mine right . Actually I'm due a break so what do you say I join you fellas...I mean if that's cool with you?"

"sure, sure, sure" Winston and Schmidt cooed simultaneously.

(Back at the loft)

Nick and Jess lay snuggled under a blanket on a sun lounger looking at the few stars they could make out in the LA night sky. They had talked about last night, she told him everything she had wanted to tell him about Anthony and he had listened as he held her close.

Now they could hear distant sounds from the street below, people laughing and singing whatever Christmas song the bar had just played. Nick rubbed her back up and down almost hypnotically as she buried herself into his chest. She felt him push his fingers under the hem of her sweater rubbing the skin on her lower back and she shivered at his touch. As she rolled further into him her leg rubbed against jeans and he groaned. She pushed her hand under his shirt and rubbed his chest her hand settling over his heart as she kissed him hard pouring all the emotion of the last 24 hours into him. That was enough for Nick and immediately he was on top of her his hands passing over her breasts eventually disappearing between her legs. He soothed away all her worries as he touched her, nobody had ever made her feel the way he did. As his hands pushed into her underwear she suddenly came back to earth.

"Wait Nick...wait...not here" She pushed him up and lead him back down to the apartment.

(At the bar)

"So guys, tequila slammers what do you say?" Stacey had finished her shift but she hadn't finished with Schmidt and Winston just yet. They had sunk lower and lower down in their seats as the evening had passed, their heads getting more unsteady on their shoulders. They watched Stacey through half closed eyes as as she disappeared to get them another round. She seemed far less drunk than them but they were too wasted to do anything about it. After few moments she proudly placed another tray of beers and a rack of shots on the table.

"So what's with Nick bailing on your guy's night" Stacey prodded.

"Oh the usual...Jess...sex...sex with Jess"

"Oh so he's one of THOSE guys" she teased "always ditching his boys for some girl...let's do something about that shall we" she lunged for Schmidt's phone, his reflexes almost too drowned with alcohol to catch her"

"Oh come on give me his number...It'll be funny"

"Absolutely not he and Jess have had the most sex-starved month of their relationship he would murder me"

"Oh come on give me the number and I'll get em both down to the bar...drinks on me I promise...we'll have a great night... Winston?"

Truth is it had been months since Daisy and he was a deprived man. He probably would have given Stacey a kidney if she'd asked for one.

(The loft)

Nick and Jess clung to each other as he moved rapidly within her. She clawed at his back pulling him into her as hard as she could. As he pulled her knees up over his waist it was almost becoming too much for both of them. She whimpered his name begging him for something...what is was she didn't know. He knew she was almost there and began to move more quickly. Suddenly the heated sound of their breathing and whimpering was interrupted by a ringing. A noise that had no place in what they were doing.

"Ignore it, please don't stop" Jess begged. Nick nodded and picked up his pace again pressing his forehead against hers. It stopped and Nick exhaled placing his hands on either side of Jess' head so he could push up to look at her as his hips quickened.

The ring started again, then again, and again.

"Fuck" Nick grunted as his hips stilled much to Jess' annoyance. They both turned their heads to stare at the offending object. Nick dropped his head in defeat and pulled out of her slowly before angrily standing and ripping his phone from his discarded pants.

He didn't know the number but he didn't care. "What?" he said loudly into the phone still catching his breath. He heard her voice and immediately hung up. Why the hell was she calling him - now of all times? He instantly realised hanging up probably wasn't the best move as he looked over at Jess. She was propped on her elbows her face looking confused and sex addled in equal measure.

"Who was that?"

"I don't know wrong number I guess"

"They called you five times though?"

"I know...weird"

Why was he lying to her?

(Back at the bar)

"Fine!" Stacey said throwing her arms in front of her, one hand grabbing her bag and the other hand grabbing Schmidt. If we can't get Nick to the party we'll take the party to Nick. How about a little after-party boys what do you say...how about I bring my girl Vicky?"

Winston and Schmidt nodded like school boys. Desperate. Aroused. Oblivious.


	5. Chapter 5

The four of them drunkenly stumbled out of the elevator towards the door of the loft. Schmidt fumbled for the door knob with one hand and tried his best to cover his eyes with they other edging his way in slowly.

"Schmidt what are you doing" Victoria chuckled as as she stared at him quizzically.

"The probability of seeing Nick's naked ass walking around is much higher these days. You can NEVER be too careful. Now Jess...Jess I'm fine with" he winked "but Nick nuh uh."

Schmidt's efforts to get in the door with his eyes closed made him walk into the side table with a loud thud waking Nick and Jess suddenly."Winston be careful!" Schmidt shouted accusingly as he struggled to get himself back up straight. Winston rolled his eyes exchanging flirtatious glances with Victoria."Be...be careful around him Stacey he's super clumsy, you get anywhere near him he'll trample right over you maybe we should get you out of harms way" Schmidt muttered nonsensically as he ushered Stacey not so subtly towards his bedroom.

"What the hell guys did someone fall down?" Nick mumbled sleepily as he came out of Jess' room rubbing his eye. His stomach dropped when he saw her. Why was this happening? He tried to exit the situation as fast as he could.

"Oh I'm sorry you guys have company, that's fine, I'll just..." He gestured pointing towards Jess' door. He almost made it back into her room, back on to safe ground.

"You" She shouted as she pushed Schmidt's arm from her waist."Where were you tonight Mr?" She was now so uncomfortably close to Jess' room Nick started to panic.

"I just wanted to have a night in with my girlfriend" he said placing emphasis on the last word as he continued to edge towards the door.

"Oh no you don't come on it's Christmas, come have a drink with us" she grabbed the waist of his t-shirt at both sides starting to force him away from the bedroom when the door behind him opened. Realising Stacey still hadn't let go of his shirt he pushed her hands away as he stared at Jess who was glaring as where Stacey's hands had just been settled on his body.

"What's going on?" said Jess with a look so vulnerable and scared it made Nick's heart hurt. He went to speak but as his words got stuck Stacey interjected.

"Um sorry about the noise we just came back with Schmidt and Winston for a little party and I was trying to get Nick to join us" Stacey eyed Jess as she spoke before turning comfortably back to Nick.

"I called you..." Stacey said prodding Nick's chest with her finger, immediately adopting a more familiar, flirtatious tone than the clipped voice she had used with Jess "but you hung up on me man what gives?"

Nick closed his eyes in resignation, he could feel Jess' eyes boring into the back of his head.

"Look maybe we should call it a night its getting pretty late, I can get you ladies a cab" Winston offered sensing a tension arise between Nick and Jess/ He gestured towards the door encouraging them to follow him.

"See ya Nick" Stacey whispered nudging his arm but she was met with a deliberate silence as Nick stared at the floor biting down on his bottom lip. He turned towards Jess' room and closed the door.

"Jess..."

"So you knew it was her on the phone" Jess said with hurt and anger in her eyes

"yes but..."

"You lied"

"Jess I..."

"You know what Nick I don't want to do this now I'm tired. You should probably sleep in your room tonight"

"Jess for Christ's sake"

"Please just leave me alone Nick, we'll talk about it tomorrow"

He stared at her but she never looked up. As she lay down facing away from him he retreated to his bedroom.

(Saturday morning)

Schmidt sat at the dining table huddled over a cup of coffee surrounded by laptops, ipads and phones lost in a world of lists and spread sheets.

"Oh come on Schmidt it's a party its supposed to be fun why do you always have to bring spread sheets into it man" Winston whined as he grappled for some coffee.

"Every party we have ever had has been a has been a carefully crafted work of spread sheet genius Winston, if it was left to you and Nick we'd have no guests, half a bag of Doritos and a broken party popper" It was too early for Winston to argue and to be honest he was right. He sat down as Schmidt proceeded to run through power ballad playlists. Nick appeared from his own room looking tired and dejected, rubbing the back of his neck  
he took a quick glance back at Jess' door as he passed it.

"She's not here man, she went to meet Cece for breakfast" Winston offered sympathetically.

"Right, yeah ok" Nick said unable to hide his disappointment.

"What's going on with you guys is everything ok?"

"Honestly I have no idea, she thinks I...it's just a misunderstanding" Nick stopped himself, he didn't want anymore accusing looks and he didn't want to say out loud that he and Jess were having problems. He didn't like the way is sounded coming from his mouth . He was exhausted, it was the first full night he has spent without her and he'd hated every second of it. The way she had looked at him made his stomach turn, he has to fix this. Fast.

"Well you have approximately 9 hours to fix it" Schmidt chimed in with less sympathy and concern in his voice than Nick would have liked. "This party is going to be epic and there are no Nick and Jess dramas on the agenda."

"Look I don't know if I'm up for a party tonight, I really need to be with Jess before she leaves for Portland tomorrow. I don't want to put her on a plane with us fighting. You might have to count me out guys."

"I will do nothing of the sort Nicholas, we have had this party every year for the past decade. The attendance of ALL founders is mandatory."

"Founders?...what are you talking about Schmidt?" Nick's brow furrowed more and more as Schmidt spoke.

"Maybe a party is what you and Jess need you know, lighten the mood a little. Cheer her up?" Winston appealed to Nick.

"I don't know maybe but I gotta talk to her first. Did she say where she was going?"

(At the cafe)

"You don't honestly think he's cheating on you Jess, do you?"

"No...I don't know ...my head is all over the place. This girl, the way she was with him, God it made me feel sick Cece. The thought of him with her just..." she closed her eyes as she shook her head willing the thoughts she was having to go away.

"Jess I really don't think Nick would do that, he is crazy lin ove with you.

"Yeah that's what you thought about Schmidt"

Cece opened her mouth to speak but she couldn't argue with that.

"Things were going so well with us I should have known something like this would happen."

"Something like what?" Cece exclaimed. "You don't even know what that something is! Look if I though Nick was capable of something like this you know I would be first in line to junk punch him but I just...I can't see it Jess and I think deep down you can't see it either so what is this really about. What are you scared of?"

"I don't know, I think on some level I've been waiting for this."

"For what?"

Jess paused, here eyes filling up a little. "For someone to catch his eye. For someone to take him away and she...she's everything I'm not Cece she's confident and sexy and guys like that. All guys like that."

"Jess I've seen the way Nick looks at you. To him are the sexiest, most beautfiul person in the whole world. You're like that to me to."

Jess looked up at Cece with a grateful smile.

"Bitch" Cece tagged on with a cheeky grin.

Finally Jess let out a laugh

"Just go talk to him Jess. Ok?"

Jess nodded and made a start to leave throwing her bag over her shoulder.

"Oh what time do you need me for this networking shindig tonight"

"Look Jess you have your party with the guys I don't want to make you miss out on that"

"It's fine I have plenty of time to do both, I can be back at the loft for 10 and that's when things get going anyway"

"Thanks Jess...ok pick you up at 7?"

"Done and done, I'll see you later."

As Jess walked away she felt her phone vibrate. She pulled it out her bag knowing the text was from him before she even looked at it.

_'Jess we need to talk, we can't leave for Christmas like this. I have to leave for work in an hour. Please come home so we can fix this.'_

She ran her thumb over the screen affectionately and hurried back to the loft.


	6. Chapter 6

Jess wanted to get back to the loft as soon as she could, she kept doing a little skip in her step to hurry herself along. She actually felt foolish after talking to Cece she should never have let her imagination go that far. What had she actually seen between Nick and Stacey...nothing. She felt terrible that she had made Nick suffer so much over the past two days and she was embarassed she had shown him that side of her. She though she'd got all of her spark back after Spencer but apparently there was still a little something he left behind and she took that out on Nick - the one person who had never made her feel anything but safe and loved. She would go home and talk to him, she would apologise and make it right, tonight was their last night together until the New Year and she wanted to make it count.

She quickly ran into the nearest store on her way back to pick up some Champagne. Tonight after the party she would show him how much she loved him. She could help but pick up some novelty mistletoe, that would come in handy later. Suddenly Jess was aware of someone shouting her name which snapped her from her reverie. It was then she realised she was grinning inanely to herself.

"Sadie Hi" Jess chorused as Sadie came bounding toward her with a pushchair in tow.

"Oh my God am I glad to see you sweetie I have been walking round this store for an hour and I. Am. Dying. to pee, I was this close to leaving Evan with the old lady in aisle five who has been staring at the tinned tomoatoes for 45 minutes. Could you watch him for two minutes while I run to the bathroom...then I'll take you for coffee...we can catch up" Sadie was yelling now but her voice was still fading to Jess as she moved further away toward the bathroom. Jess didn't get a word out.

Jess bent down to tickle Evans stomach. "Hey we better called Uncle Nick or he is gonna be real mad at Aunt Jess." She reached for her phone to let Nick know she got held up but "Dammit I can't get reception in here...come on Sadie pee faster"

(Back at the loft)

"Where the hell is Jess she left Cece 45 minutes ago. I have to go to work in like ten minutes" Nick was impatiently shuffling back and forth in his seat while Schmidt and Winston just shrugged at one another.

Nick tried to call her one more time but was once again met with her cheerful answer phone message."Hey jess it's me I'm not sure where you are but I gotta go to work, maybe you could come by the bar later. Give me a call".

Nick stared at his phone willing it to ring, eventually he stood up huffing as he headed for the door completely forgetting once again to say goodbye to the guys. Thirty minutes later Jess arrived home to an empty apartment.

(At the bar)  
The bar was slammed, Nick didn't know if he had ever seen it this busy. It was only 4.30 already people were running to the bathrooms to barf and dancing on tables. Nothing like the festive season to bring out the crazy in people, he though to himself. His shoulders and feet were aching already, it was going to be a long day. He walk behind Big Bob slapping his hands on his shoulder.

"Hey Buddy I'm gonna take a quick break...you ok for five minutes?"

"Sure man no problem"

Nick sloped out the back to to get some air when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Hi Nick"

"Hey ...look Stacey I really don't want to get into anything I just..."

"No Nick I wanted to apologise."

"Stacey..."

"No. Look, I know you've been avoiding me today and I know Jess wasn't exactly thrilled to have me at your apartment last night and I just wanted you to know that I didn't mean to upset anyone but...I like you Nick and think you know that, but as long as Jess is around I will back off ok?"

"As long as Jess is around?" Nick echoed unsure how to take that but Stacey's attention was already elsewhere as she started to put her jacket on.

"Anyway my shift is over so..." She started to walk away turning around just as she was almost out of Nick's earshot."I'll see you tonight."

"Tonight?"

"Your party...I wouldn't miss it...later" she bit her bottom lip playfully and jumped gleefully into her car.

Just as Nick was about to call back at her an exasperated Bob appeared. "You gotta get back in here man its turned into a zoo"

Nick walked back in the door to the din of the bar and and a wall of stale smelling alcohol. Nick was an accustomed barman now but as people leaned over the bar barking their orders at him even he started to feel his patience slip and he could feel Shane eyeing him waiting for him to lose his cool. Which he almost did when some suit leaned over the bar to help himself to a shot of tequila but then he saw her fighting her way through the crowd and he immediately calmed.

Jess eventually found herself a spot at the end of the bar where she could avoid getting beer down her back and her ass groped. Nick kept looking over and gesturing at her apologetically as he worked his way through a five deep bar eventually getting round to where she was.

"What's a gal gotta do to get a drink around here" she giggled.

"I'm sorry Jess"

"No I'm sorry I bumped into Sadie and I got held up but I really wanted to talk to you."

"I know I wanted to talk to you too."

Nick suddenly felt Shane hovering behind him.

"Tonight yeah?" He whispered quickly to Jess."

"Yeah I gotta meet Cece at seven but I'll be home around ten, what do you say we ditch the party and have our own party on the roof again." She smiled leaning further toward him.

He was so relieved to here her talking like that.

"It's a date...look I gotta get back to work...tonight?"

"Tonight"


	7. Chapter 7

"Hey Jess Im in a cab downstairs"

"Ok give me two minutes" Jess chirped into her phone as she wriggled her feet into her five inch heels. She was going to be surrounded by models all night she had to do what she could. Jess wanted so much to spend the night with Nick but she knew how nervous Cece got about these networking events and she had asked Jess weeks ago to go with her, she was good at helping Cece with what to say and more importantly - limiting her tequila intake.

Jess passed through the hall to wolf whistles and cat calls from Schmidt and Winston, she never even feigned offence when they did that. It was a nice little ego boost for a night out.

"I gotta go meet Cece but tell Nick...just tell him...I'll see him later" with that she trotted out the door, her heels clicking down the hallway.

Nick hurried out the elevator forty minutes later half hoping to catch Jess running late but no such luck so he immediately dealt with the next task at hand.

"Schmidt...Schmidt!"

"What? My bedroom is ten feet away why are you bellowing."

"Did you invite Stacey to the party tonight?"

"Um if it was the other night following the 15 sambuca shots I had then I can neither confirm nor deny" he riddled hoping to dodge Nick's wrath.

"Yeah you did" Winston chipped in over his shoulder "..and Victoria" Winston wiggled his eyebrows.

"Hey nice man do you think you two..."

"Schmidt!" Nick yelled cutting him off. "Uninvite her now and I mean right now"

"I can't do that Nicholas I'm a gentleman"

"Schmidt I'm serious call her now and tell the party isn't happening, tell her whatever you want just keep her away from this loft tonight. Do it, call her now!"

"Alright, alright geez!"

(Victoria's apartment)

Stacey knew why he was calling, especially after her conversation with Nick today so she calmly ignored it and threw her phone back in her bag.

"Which guy are you phasing out now" Victoria mocked rolling her eyes as she curled her hair getting ready for the party.

"Oh Vicky...this isn't about phasing somebody OUT..."

"Stacey, what are you up to? Stacey?...Stacey?!"

"What? I can't hear you ...I can't..." Stacey gestured to the hairdryer she had just turned on full blast to drown out Victoria's questions.

Half an hour later as they were leaving the apartment Stacey listened to Schmidt's message letting her know 'the party had been cancelled' due to all three of them being struck with Lyme Disease which he 'suspected they had caught from Winston's cat.' She laughed at his excuses before deleting the message and continuing to apply her lip gloss using the reflection on her phone.

(The Loft)  
It was 8.30 and the loft was getting rammed. The guys couldn't say for sure that they knew every face that was passing through the door but it made them feel cool so they went with it. Nick proceeded to check his phone every ten minutes much to Schmidt's annoyance who then started issuing tequila penalties for every 'cell offence.' Soon Nick's legs were feeling warm and his head was nice and fuzzy, he couldn't wait for Jess to come home but he knew he had a couple of hours so he decided to try and cut loose. Just as he was finally persuaded to join Dirk on the table for a rendition of 'Careless Whisper' his attention was drawn to the girl below him who was wolf whistling and raising her glass to his talents. His face fell as he clumsily lowered himself from the table searching for Schmidt.

"Schmidt you said you called her what is she doing here?!"

"I said I _tried_ to call her, I didn't say I spoke to her."

"Schmidt please, you gotta make her leave."

"Why don't you make me?" Nick felt somebody breathe into his ear causing him to flinch while Schmidt recoiled with a questioning look on his face. Schmidt backed away feeling like he was intruding on something private and left them alone.

She was standing uncomfortably close forcing Nick to back up further and further until he felt his heels hit the wall.

"Stacey why are you here?"

"I was invited" she offered, professing no knowledge of Schmidt's message "Is there a problem?"

"Yes there is, you know there is ...look Stacey..." It suddenly occured to Nick that his phone was ringing. It was Jess.

Nick walked as far away as he could terrfied that Jess might hear anything down the phone but it was a bad line, so much so that nobody was in danger of hearing much of anything.

"Jess, Jess can you hear me"

"Yeah I can...can...me?"

"Not really Jess where are you."

"Im in the bathroom...basement...awful signal."

"What?" Nick tried to decipher what she was saying from the string of nouns with no luck.

"Look I'm not coming home...tonight...ok?

"What do you mean you're not coming home...Jess ...Jess" Nick's phone went quiet as Jess cluelessly continued to talk at the other end."

(The Midland Hotel)

"Nick I said I'm not coming home at ten ok? It's going to be more like eleven...Nick?...Nick? Are you there?" Jess gave up exhaling loudly, shutting off her phone she headed back upstairs. Cece had hit it off with the director of some Parisian clothing line and she had talked Jess into staying a little longer with the promise of some free Champagne. As the first glass was thrust into her hand it seemed like a good idea but now she was just sitting on her own flicking through a barrage of failed text attemps to Nick.

Cece was doing well, she looked fine, maybe Jess could slip away.

(Back at the loft)

Noticing Stacey had disappeared Nick made a break for the roof to try and call Jess again. Was she really not coming back to the loft tonight? She had seemed so excited to see him earlier today. After having several conversations with her answer phone Nick started to wonder if they were ever going to talk this out. She was leaving for Portland in fourteen hours and he didn't want her to leave with any doubts in her head. _He_ didn't want any doubts, he desperately needed to know that they were ok. He'd had a tense, sickly feeling in his stomach for two days and she was the only one who could make it go away. After six months together he had finally stopped worrying about the plethora of things that could break them up. Maybe he had become complacent, maybe he wasn't fighting hard enough.

"Come on where are you?" he whispered to himself.

"If I didn't know better I would think you were avoiding me Nick Miller."

Nick screwed up his face and dropped his shoulders looking defeated.

"Stacey what are you doing?"

"I saw you come up here all on your own"

"No I mean what are you doing with me...what is this?"

"What? I thought you might want some company with Jess being elsewhere and all."

"Yeah well I don't want company thanks so you can go."

For the first time Stacey seemed to take his pleas on board and actually flinched with a flicker of hurt in her eyes so Nick softened trying to appeal to this 'new' side of her.

"Stacey I'm sorry if I did or said anything that made you think that I was interested but...I'm not...I'm sorry I'm just not. I have a girlfriend who I love and that's just the way it is."

"I guess I just don't see it" Stacey spat with cool look washing over her face.

"See what?"

"You...with her...I don't get it. I'm sure she's a nice girl and all but she doesn't seem your...type."

"She's exactly my type. You don't even know her or me for that matter." Stacey had struck a nerve and he was trying hard to stay calm.

"Like I said I'm sure she's a nice person she just seems a little too goofy and plain for you that's all I'm saying I guess I just imagined you with someone a little more...exciting."

Nick knew he should leave but he felt compelled to defend Jess. Who the hell was she to talk about Jess this way. He was getting angry, he wasn't sure he had ever been this angry with a woman before and it was scaring him. He lowered his head trying to calm himself down failing to notice she was now standing right in front of him.

She cocked her head trying to draw his eyeline up to hers and she was almost whispering to him now. "I just think that if you knew what you were missing you might change your mind about her that's all."

With that she grabbed the collar of his shirt pulling his mouth to hers.

In his shocked state he probably took a second too long to push her away. A second that could have made all the difference. I second that now had him face to face with a horrified Jess.


	8. Chapter 8

He had barely taken two steps forward before she was out the door slamming it behind her. The door you could only open from the outside, fleetingly he assumed she knew that.

"No, no, no Jess...Jess" immediate panic settled in Nick's chest weighing his heart down, he could feel the blood draining from him face.

"Jess! Open the door." There was no answer "Oh my God this is not happening, this is NOT happening" He growled yanking the door handle.

"Nick hold on a second"

"Do not speak to me Stacey, I swear to God..." Nick reached urgently for his phone, he realised how much his hands were shaking. He was scared. He was so scared that the best thing in his life has just walked out the door."

"Winston! You gotta come up to the roof and open the door!"

"What?" Winston slurred over the roaring music behind him.

"The roof door you gotta come and open it now, I'm stuck up here."

"What are you doing up..."

"Winston now!"

A few moments later Winston plodded up the stairs bouncing off the walls several times on way. The hand which was holding the key hovered over the lock moving in slow circles as Winston tried to steady himself, closing one eye to improve his aim. The door was only cracked open a centimetre before Nick barged through it almost knocking Winston down.

"What the hell Nick...Nick" Winston tried to keep up with him but his whiskey soaked legs wouldn't carry him that fast. He saw Stacey standing in the doorway and started to fit the puzzle pieces together. He stumbled after Nick as fast as he could.

Nick frantically scanned the room but she was gone. He grabbed his car keys from the side table and started for the elevator. He pressed the button repeatedly as though his finger alone was responsible for pulling the lift to the fourth floor. Finally Winston caught up with him snatching the car keys from his hand while he was focused on what floor the elevator was at.

"Winston what the fuck are you doing?"

"Are you crazy man you can't drive you've had half a bottle of whiskey!"

"I'm fine, gimme my damn keys"

Winston lowered his voice and held out his hands palms down trying to calm Nick down. "Look I don't know what happened with Jess but I'm not gonna let you kill yourself over it man, its not happening."

"Winston please I need to find her" Nick pleaded as his voice cracked under the strain.

"We will but you can't drive Nick."

"Fine I'll get a cab" Nick conceded as he got in the elevator.

"It's Christmas Eve tomorrow you'll never get a cab" Winston yelled after Nick as the doors closed. He was gone.

Winston was right - an hour walk later he was at Cece's unaware he was banging on the door of an empty apartment. He pleaded and called for her, he didn't care what time it was or about the neighbours who had started complaining at him - he just wanted Jess. After twenty minutes he accepted there was nobody there and left. Standing on an empty street Nick had never felt more lost, there were no cabs, there was no traffic at all. She had to be at Sadie's and the truth was he'd never been there before, he didn't know where the house was, Sadie and Melissa had always come to them. He called again knowing her phone was switched off but he was at a loss, he didn't know what else to do. He looked around him as though she would suddenly be there if he stared hard enough. Eventually his legs started to move as he carried himself home.

(Two days later)

Jess lay in bed at her mother's house staring at the ceiling. Everything hurt.

She had just left without even talking to him but she was so angry and she was scared, scared to ask and scared to hear him say it._'I cheated on you'._ Her body recoiled everytime she imagined him saying those words as though her body was physically rejecting them. She wished she had stopped to listen to him but she had panicked and now it had been two days since they had spoken. His name would flash up on her phone every twenty minutes and every time she would go to answer it but something stopped her. Her mind didn't want to let her think he had cheated on her so she found herself trying to make excuses but her eyes let her down - she had seen him - kissing her.

A single tear ran down her face for the hundredth time since she had arrived at her mothers. She hated that she was ruining her Mom's Christmas but she couldn't make the hurt go away enough to enjoy it the way she usually did.

She missed him so much sometimes her breath would catch in her throat as though she had forgotten to keep breathing.

Joan tapped on the door softly as she opened it holding a cup of tea in Jess' favourite Santa mug. "Merry Christmas honey." she said tenderly as she stroked Jess' hair.

"Merry Christmas Mom" Jess tried to smile as she sat up. Joan could tell she had been crying again and leaned in for a hug.

"I'm ok Mom, I'll be ok."

"I know you will sweetie but it breaks my heart to see you like this, especially at Christmas. Why don't you come downstairs and we can have some breakfast huh? Christmas tree shaped pancakes what do you say?"

Jess smiled and let her mom pull her out of bed and down the stairs.

(Later on in Chicago)

Nick sat on the sofa clutching his beer oblivious to the noise going on around him. It was on Christmas day of all days that he truly realised what it felt like to have his heart break. She had his heart now so it made sense that it would feel like it was missing without her there.

His mom knew bits and pieces of what happened but it was their first Christmas without Walt and he knew there was only so much she could take so he bottled it up as best he could. Beer was his answer, anything that would numb the way he was feeling even a little bit was a welcome thing.

Suddenly aware that he hadn't spoken to anyone in over an hour and that he really didn't want to, he took himself up to his old room. He tried to call her again knowing it would be in vain. It was eight in the evening and she hadn't picked up all day. He was just about to hang up when he heard breathing on the other end of the line.

"Jess...Jess are you there."

"Yeah I'm here."

"Oh thank God Jess, are you ok?"

"I don't know Nick."

"Jess listen to me...nothing happened...she..."

"I don't want to talk about that Nick."

"What?, but..."

"I know this is your first Christmas without your Dad, that's why I called, I wanted to see if you were ok...if you were all ok?"

Nick was silent for a while overwhelmed by her concern in light of the circumstances but also crushed that she didn't want to fix it...fix them.

"I'm ok it's weird but...it's ok I guess.I wish you were here, I miss you so much Jess."

He heard her start to cry down the phone, God he needed to be with her.

"Jess I love you, God I love you so much. Please...please you have to believe me Jess me we're going to be ok, I need to know we're going to be ok. I can't be without you Jess I don't know how to do that anymore."

Jess' head was spinning, his words got into her head the way they always did but she had seen him, she had seen him kissing somebody else. She didn't notice she had said that out loud.

"She kissed me Jess, I don't want her I never wanted her."

The thing is Jess had been here before. Slowly the memory of Spencer started to creep into her head as Nick spoke. She found herself getting angry. Angry at Spencer, angry at herself, angry at Nick. Everything had been perfect and now there was this big cloud over their relationship.

"Nick I have to go I just...I can't do this right now...please can you give me some space for a few days."

"Jess wait please don't do this."

"I didn't do this Nick"

"Wait just tell me please - are we still together, are you still mine?"

The silence hit him like a tonne of bricks.

"I have to go Nick, wish your Mom Merry Christmas ok."

"Jess...Jess!"


	9. Chapter 9

They hadn't spoken in just under a week, it had been the worst Christmas of his life and he could not get his head round the insanity of the situation he was in. How had they got here? She had asked him for space but it wasn't something he had been able to give, he had called her everyday - she hadn't picked up. To begin with he was devastated, he felt nothing but sympathy for Jess, he knew how bad the whole thing must have looked to her, then he was confused and then impatient and now he was just angry. He never thought he could be this angry at someone he loved so much but here he was.

He had come to the bar early, Schmidt and Winston weren't home from their parents yet and he couldn't stand the deafening silence of the loft. He knew Jess was flying home on New Year's Eve but he honestly didn't know if he was ready to see her, with everything that was going on in his head he was scared of what would come out of his mouth, he was terrified of how different things could be between them now. Nervous that she would turn up at the bar he found himself taking a swig of whiskey whenever he had the chance.

He had missed her so much but now the thought of seeing her was filling him with dread.

(At LAX)

Jess stood at baggage claim scowling at every bag that passed her by that didn't belong to her. She couldn't wait to get home she needed to see him so badly. She had spent the last few days going round in circles about what had happened. She still couldn't make her mind and her heart agree but she just knew she needed to be with him. She had cut him out, not because she didn't want to be with him, not because she hated him but because she had no idea what she wanted say. How could she tell him everything was ok if she didn't know that it was. Still she felt she owed him more, he wasn't some guy she had only known for a few months, he wasn't Spencer, he was Nick. Her Nick - and she loved him.

When her bag finally appeared she yanked it off the belt suddenly almost breaking her toes as it dropped to the ground with a thud. She hauled it through the airport mercilessly causing it to rock from wheel to wheel. As she reached the exit she immediately found herself at the back of a long queue at the taxi rank. None of these people needed to get home as much as she did , she thought to herself feeling completely devoid of any holiday cheer. Nick was supposed to collect her but she wasn't surprised not to see him there.

Twenty minutes later she was was on the road, she drummed her fingers on the armrest as she continuously checked her phone to see if he had called. He hadn't. Why would he?

Jess finally arrived home to an empty loft and her heart sank, she had been preparing herself the whole way home and that tension was wasted, it was something she would have go through all over again in a few hours. She felt like she had been away for months, nothing had changed but things felt different nonetheless. As she headed to the kitchen to make herself some tea the door knocked and she jumped. It couldn't be Nick he had a a key, of course he did, it was one of the first things he did for her when they got together.

Of all the people to see at her door it was the last person she ever expected.

"Shane...hi"

Jess' mind immediately started to think the worst again. Why is she here? Has Nick been seeing her again? Was he punishing her?

Jess realised she was staring at Shane without speaking.

"I'm sorry um...Nick's not here." she managed to get the words out as she swallowed a large lump in her throat.

"Actually...I'm here to see you."

"oh, ok come in...can I get you anything to drink?"

"No thanks I can't stay long... Look I know it's weird that I'm here, I don't know why I am actually, but I guess I felt like I should say something."

Jess suddenly held her breath and she could feel tears pricking behind her eyes. She didn't know if she wanted to hear this.

"Um.." Shane continued "I guess you know Nick is not my favourite person in the whole world for obvious reasons." She gestured subtly towards Jess as Jess averted her eyes in embarrassment. "but in spite of that I know Nick is a good guy deep down, I also know he is crazy about you and what you think happened...well...it didn't"

"You're talking about..." Jess trailed off.

"Stacey...yeah. You should know I fired her today, seems honesty is a real problem with Stacey at work...and in other areas. I heard her talking at the bar, I know she went after Nick and I know she failed. She wasn't great at hiding her bitterness about that to the other female bar staff."

Jess closed her eyes accepting something she already knew. Shane contined to talk a little as she rose to leave throwing her bag over her shoulder.

"Look I don't know if I'm just feeling the holiday spirit or what but I just thought you should know. The fact that Nick dumped me for the love of his life rather than some random hookup is somewhat comforting...in a weird way."

"Shane...thank you I know it mustn't have been easy for you to come here but it means a lot that you did...and I'm sorry that you got hurt, Nick and I never meant..."

"Don't worry about it, it's in the past right. Just do me a favour and put Nick out of his misery before he starts losing me customers."

"I'll try...hey Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year" Shane smiled sypathetically and left Jess alone.

(A few hours later)

Jess was still sitting alone clutching a cold cup of tea and suddenly she couldn't stand the waiting anymore so she grabbed her purse and headed out. The New Year's Eve crowds were slowly starting to pick up so after giving up the fight for a cab Jess walked. Her and the guys knew Nick was working at New Year until late so they had all decided to spend that night at the bar so they could ring it in together. She guessed that plan had fallen through now but she wanted to be there anyway. Their Christmas had been ruined she wasn't going to let the same thing happen to their New Year.

She spotted him behind the bar straight away and she edged towards him slowly, almost as if she was trying not to scare him. He looked tired she thought and it instantly made her heart hurt. Suddenly his eyes were drawn in her direction as though he sensed her there and their gazes locked as she continued to make her way towards him.

"Hi" she gasped, the words almost refusing to leave her mouth.

"Hi" he said, his eyes darting around as though looking at her had suddenly become and impossible challenge.

"Can we talk Nick?"

Silence... "I have break in fifteen minutes why don't you wait out the back and I'll come meet you...you want a drink."

She wasn't sure if that was a statement or a question but a gin seemed like a great idea at that precise moment. She took the drink from him as he neither spoke to nor looked at her and slowly made her way behind the bar to a quiet stock room.

Exactly fifteen minutes later Nick appeared in the doorway and Jess immediately stood as though she was a child who had been caught misbehaving. Neither of them knew how to start the conversation but given the circumstances Jess felt it was up to her to make the first move.

"Nick I'm sorry." she finally choked out.

He pursed his lips and nodded slowly still not looking at her. Inside his heart was breaking all over again.

"I shouldn't have left like that I should have talked to you but I just...I was upset and scared and I didn't know what to do but I know you didn't do anything, I know that now."

"Oh you do, how's that?" Nick's stoic face and low hushed voice unnerved her. She hadn't expected this response. She didn't know what she did expect - but it wasn't this.

"It's just...I've been thinking a lot about us and what we mean to each other...and funnily enough I spoke to Shane today and she pretty much told me Stacey is nothing but a liar." Jess' words were coming out at a frantic pace, it sounded nothing like the rehearsed monologue she had been practicing on the flight back.

"Right so you believed Shane...but you didn't believe me?"

"It's not that I didn't believe you it's just..."

"Oh ok so you DID believe me, you ran away from me and refused to talk to me because you did believe me. I must have misunderstood that Jessica."

Jess had let her insecurities and weaknesses get the better of her, damaging their relationship and Nick was about to let his anger do the same.

"Nick please I'm trying to apologise, I wish I hadn't put you through that - put US through that but Nick I didn't know how to deal with what I saw...I panicked and I shouldn't have because it was her it was Stacey who came between us!"

"Yeah but look how easy it was for her to do that Jess." Nick's head and his heart weren't connecting, he knew it. His anger was controlling what he was saying even though his heart was screaming at him to kiss her and tell that he loved her and that he did forgive her but the words were falling out of his mouth and he couldn't stop them.

"Nick please I'm asking you to forgive me I just want to go back to the way we were."

"Yeah...well...maybe I don't Jess."

Jess felt her legs go to jelly as the wind got knocked out of her.


	10. Chapter 10

Nick lay on this bed willing his eyes to close, sleep had become something of a luxury over the last three weeks. He still lay on his side of the bed making him even more aware of the empty space next to him. They hadn't seen or spoken to each since their conversation at the bar and although nobody had actually said the words, the truth of the situation was painfully apparent. They had broken up.

He hadn't seen this coming and it felt like his world had crashed down around him. How could that perfect thing they had be torn apart in the space of a few days? They had both hurt each other, something they swore they would never do, something they didn't even think they were capable of.

Nick's attempts to sleep were futile once again so he reluctantly lifted himself out of bed to go to the kitchen. Every night Nick would trade the view of his bedroom ceiling for the darkened kitchen, it had become a ritual for him - so had pausing outside her empty bedroom on the way. Only tonight he went in.

As he sat on her bed he took in the scent of her that surrounded him, worried that it was starting to fade. Knowing she hadn't been there in a month made the room almost eerie. The thought of never seeing her in this room again, never laying in this bed with her suddenly made it very hard for him to breathe. Feeling overwhelmed with sorrow Nick abruptly made an exit for the kitchen dropping the pyjama top of hers he had been clutching without even realising.

Grabbing a beer he sat down staring at the bottle, slowly peeling off the label as Winston rounded the corner. Winston had been working crazy shifts lately but after the last few weeks he was no longer surprised to bump into Nick in the early hours of the morning.

"Hey Nick" Winston had soon stopped asking what he was doing up so late or why he couldn't sleep.

"Hey, how was work?"

"Oh you know, same old thing." After along silence and knowing this wasn't really what Nick wanted to talk about Winston steeled himself and spoke tentatively. "Nick...I think you need to talk to her man."

Nick inhaled deeply but didn't seem to breathe out. "I can't"

"So you're honestly telling me this is it Nick, you're never going to talk to each other again."

"I ended it Winston, I killed our relationship, what the hell am I supposed to say to her."

"I don't know man but you can't go on like this, it's eating you up."

Nick rubbed his face roughly squeezing his thumb and forefinger into his eyes.

"She hates me" Nick whispered.

"She doesn't hate you Nick. She loves you. That's why you gotta talk to her."

"I miss her so much its killing me Winston" A single tear fell down Nick's cheek before he sniffed and squeezed his eyes shut forcing the rest of them away.

"I know you do man" Winston squeezed Nick's shoulder, slightly taken aback by this rare display of emotion and unsure of how to respond to it. As Winston lowered his arm they both sat in silence.

(Cece's apartment)

Cece was not a morning person she never had been and Jess used to drive her crazy when she would stay over. She would sing as she made breakfast at the crack of dawn, then she would flop on Cece's bed wanting to chat while Cece was still enduring the troublesome task of simply getting her eyes open. Hers and Jess' friendship had always been better after midday.

Now it was Cece waking Jess up.

"Hey Jess you need to get up you don't want to be late."

"I don't care Cece"

"Yes you do, come on...up" Cece grabbed her hand pulling her upright and forcing a cup of tea into her hand.

"You want some breakfast I made bagels."

"No thanks I'm not hungry."

"I wasn't really asking Jess." Cece countered as she headed for the kitchen looking back at Jess expectantly.

As Jess arrived to the kitchen, Cece hadn't just made bagels, she'd made pancakes and eggs too. It hadn't gone unnoticed by Cece that Jess wasn't taking care of herself the way she usually did so it had been up to her for the past few weeks. Jess was always the one who fixed things, she was the one who took care of everyone. Seeing her like this made everything feel off balance and Cece didn't know what to do to make it better. There was only one person who could fix it and he wasn't here.

"Hey this came for you today." Cece passed Jess an envelope addressed with only her name. "I got one too, it's from Coach." Cece quickly spat out not wanting her to assume it might be from Nick.

Jess screwed up her face confused as to what it could be. Coach had moved out of the loft a few months ago when he got back with Malia and true to form nobody had heard from him apart from the odd text here and there.

"It's an invitation...Oh my God" Jess yelled with as much enthusiasm as her voice would allow.

"I know"

"They're engaged! That's great...I mean you're ok about it right?" Jess suddenly remembered herself.

"Oh God, yes. It was one date Jess. It's great I'm happy for him."

Then the reality of the situation dawned on Jess.

"You ready to see him yet?" Cece asked softly seeing the expression which clouded over Jess' face.

"I don't know." Jess looked as vulnerable as she had when they first broke up, her eyes always on the verge of crying.

"I think it could be good for you. You need to see him eventually Jess."

"I know, it's just...it's hard."

Cece stroked her arm knowing all too well how she was feeling.

(Six days later)

Nick opened his third beer, he didn't want to be drunk when he saw her but he needed something to steady his nerves, he had been pacing the kitchen for the last half hour going over in his head what he could say to her, if he could say anything at all.

"Nick would you please stand still you're making me sea sick." Schmidt yelled. Soon realising now wasn't the right time to be harsh on Nick he changed his tone.

"Look Nick if this is too hard for you Coach would understand."

"No it's his engagement party I have to go. I want to go. I'm just...a little nervous" Nick swallowed hard and shook his hands trying to shake the nerves out of them. He was never one to talk about how he was feeling especially if it made him seem weak or like he couldn't take care of himself. That was because of his Dad he supposed - he'd had to seem strong all the time for his Mom - but now wasn't one of those times.

Just as Schmidt started to walk away Nick felt his barriers crumble a little.

"What am I going to say to her man? I'm terrified Schmidt."

"I don't know, I guess maybe you'll know when you see her."

"What if she hates me, like really really hates me?"

"Nick she's in love with you...things have been hard and I can't guarantee she'll greet you with open arms tonight but I know she doesn't hate you."

(Cece's apartment)

Cece had been ready to leave for thirty minutes but she sat sipping her wine patiently as she waited for Jess to change her outfit for the eighth time. Sensing Jess might need some help she knocked on the bedroom door as she pushed it open.

"Hey I thought you could use this" Cece smiled as she handed Jess a glass of wine.

"Thanks. I'm almost ready I just ...I just need ..." Jess scanned the room frantically - she didn't even know what she was looking for.

"Jess take a deep breath. If this is too hard for you we don't have to go, I can call Coach right now."

"No, no I want to go, I need to go." With that she straightened out her dress and messed with her hair for the hundredth time. Nick had seen her first thing in the morning, naked, no makeup, bed hair - she knew deep down this made no difference but she still wanted to look nice. She gulped her wine as she went and then took one last look in the mirror.

"You ready to go" Cece said as she grabbed for Jess' hand.

"Yeah...let's go."

(At the bar)

Nick had barely breathed at all in the last twenty minutes as the cab had made its way to the bar where the party was at. His heart was beating so fast it wasn't implausible to him that he may have a heart attack. Eventually Nick hauled himself out of the cab his legs feeling like lead, he followed closely behind Schmidt and Winston using to them as a protective shield to the force that was about to hit him. As he made it through the door to the bar his eyes felt fixed to the floor like magnets, scared of what he would see if he looked up. Scared she'd be there. Scared she wouldn't.

As he finally started to raise his head he felt Coach's hand thrust into his shaking it manically. For a big, tough guy Coach was bordering on giddy as he ushered Malia over to talk to them. Coach was his buddy and he cared about him a lot but Nick had found it extremely hard to match their enthusiasm, especially tonight. He forced a smile but left a lot of the polite conversation to Schmidt and Winston as his eyes scanned the room eagerly.

His eyes met a row of champagne glasses and tequila shots lined up on the bar which looked very appealing to him right at that moment. Taking advantage of the swarm of girls who suddenly descended upon Coach and Malia, Nick ducked out of the way heading towards the bar while trying to accept that Jess might not actually be there and yet another lonely night would go by.

Schmidt had already started to work the room while Winston had stayed glued to the girls who had joined them moments ago and were now cooing in a chorus over Malia's engagement ring. Nick hoped that his mere presence at the party was enough support for Coach because he really didn't feel like talking with a collection of vague acquaintances tonight, most of whom would no doubt assume he and Jess were still happily together.

He downed a tequila shot willing it to works its way right down to his toes calming all his nerves on the way. The sheer volume of smiles and happy faces made him feel like the loneliest person on the plant. A month ago that had been him. He should have known it was too good to be true. He choked that thought down along with another tequila.

As he slammed the glass down on the bar grimacing at the sour taste he brought the back of his forearm to his mouth dabbing his lips with his sleeve. He rotated his arm as he lowered it grabbing his stubbled face with his hand and rubbing it roughly as he closed his eyes to the celebration around him. In that momentary pause Nick decided to leave. He wasn't ready for this but as he opened his eyes there they were across the room...

...The most beautiful pair of big blue eyes looking right at him. 


	11. Chapter 11

Jess' feet were glued to the floor. She wasn't sure what a panic attack felt like but she was pretty sure she was having one. Her breathing felt like too much for her lungs to keep up with. She wasn't sure who was supposed to make the first move here and apparently neither did he so they both did nothing.

Suddenly their gaze was obstructed as she saw Schmidt and Winston encircle Nick, she guessed they had seen her too and we're going to Nick's aid. She had spoken to Schmidt and Winston over the past month but no matter how kind and understanding they had been it was always shadowed with awkwardness - at the end of the day they were Nicks friends first and that's where their loyalty lay and Jess understood that. Still it hurt to feel like she was no longer in their group. She lowered her eyes willing herself not to cry but she could feel the burning sensation build up behind her eyes. She felt Cece grab her hand and she faced her, turning her back to Nick so he wouldn't see how upset she was getting. She had hoped she'd be stronger than this.

"Cece..."

"It's ok go to the bathroom and just take a minute to yourself...remember Jess we can leave at any time."

Jess nodded and hastily made her way to the bathroom as Nick craned his head over the crowd watching her go. He made a start after her but as people stopped him to make conversation and blocked him with trays of drinks, he lost her.

Nick continued to scour the room when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Nick they're making the speeches now." Winston appealed to him.

"But she was here, I..."

"She'll still be here man, come its Coach engagement you can't miss this"

Nick accepted defeat and made his way back to the front of the bar. He tried his best to focus his attention on the words being spoken by Coach and Malia but his mind was running at a hundred miles an hour with only one thought. Her.

Nick was aware of his name being mentioned and turned his head back to Coach who was smiling at him in a way he never seen before. He nodded and smiled weakly raising his glass when the rest of the room did feeling guilty that he hadn't heard the kind words Coach was sharing. As he lowered the glass from in front of his face his eyes were once again drawn to her. She'd been crying, he could tell from the other side of the room.

As she continued to to steal glances towards his unwavering stare Nick's feet suddenly started to carry him across the room. Pushing through a sea of clapping hands and smiling faces Nick never stopped looking at her until she was there...right in front of him.

She felt him grab her hand and every nerve stood on end. Suddenly she was being pulled through the crowd to the balcony outside. As the noise of the party faded behind them the time was coming closer and closer for one of them to speak but as as the door closed behind them all they could hear was the sound of each other breathing. Their eyes searched each other's faces rapidly just as their minds searched desperately for the right words. But as he continued to clutch her hand with their faces mere centimetres apart, their breath mingling the way it had done so many times before they both realised there were no words. Talking wasn't what they needed from each other.

Nick had been backing Jess up against the wall out of view without either of them noticing, his hands had moved to her waist while hers held his forearms. As their faces moved closer, their breathing was heavy and their gaze intense, they paused for a moment giving each other a chance to back out and praying neither of them would.

As Nick's nose grazed hers a small whimper left her mouth and with that his lips crashed to hers with an intensity she had never felt before. It was hard, messy and forceful and exactly what they both needed. His hands roamed freely all over her back as she fisted his hair with both hands.

He felt tears roll down her cheeks as he kissed her, his mouth left hers as his lips trailed up her face kissing the tears away. As the last tear touched his lips he rested his forehead against hers and stroked her cheeks with his thumbs.

She rested her hands on his chest feeling comforted that his heart was racing as much as hers.

"Nick?..." She whispered.

He hadn't heard her voice in weeks and it made his heart swell.

"I need you. Take me home."


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry this gets bit M on you**

As they Irish-goodbyed their way out of the party they found themselves on the street hailing a cab within moments, Nick refused to let go of her hand but she didn't mind. She had never felt more safe, she grasped his arm with her other hand holding tightly on to him as the cab pulled to a stop in front of them.

As they sat down both her arms curled around his right bicep as his right hand trailed up and down her the thigh, the tension between them was like nothing they had ever felt. It was even more intense than the first time they had slept together if that was possible.

He wanted to kiss her again but with the way she was looking at him and with his hand resting high up on her thigh he knew he wouldn't be able to control himself. One of her hands reached up to his neck and her fingers pushed inside the front of his collar stroking the small part of exposed skin at the top of his chest, then as she moved it round to the back of his neck he felt her pull his head down and suddenly he was lost in her.

"God...Jess" he exhaled between kisses as his hand started to drift higher up under her dress feeling heat radiate from her.

"I missed you...so much." His words staggered as he began to kiss down her neck.

"So did I...God so much Nick." Jess breathed, her hands running through his hair as she eagerly pulled his lips back to hers. "I want you so badly" she whimpered into his mouth moving her hand slowly down his torso but Nick caught her wrist before she reached her destination pulling her hand up to his mouth and kissing her palm softly.

"Me too..so much but I need this to last longer than two minutes." His chest heaved with desire as he forced his words out while his gaze drifted to the prying eyes of the cab driver who had not so subtly adjusted his rear view mirror.

"Pull over here will ya buddy" Nick spoke frantically as he handed and unknown sum of money to the driver while his legs were already hanging out of the car pulling Jess behind him. Any other time he would have gotten out and opened her door for her but there was little time for chivalry right now.

Jess wasn't sure she had ever seen Nick move this fast before but the level of his desire was turning her on even more. They had a month to make up for and neither of them was doing a very good job of hiding their eagerness to do just that. Nor could Nick hide his frustration at the couple who entered the elevator with them slowing them down even further. His thumb stroked steady circles over the back of her hand and she leaned over to kiss his shoulder, the couple in front of them blissfully unaware of the atmosphere that was being generated behind them.

As the lift pinged and they got out on the second floor Nick immediately pushed Jess up against the wall of the elevator pushing his tongue into her mouth which she more than welcomed. Nick pressed his whole body hard against her wanting to be as close as he could, grinding his hips into her repeatedly.

As Jess felt his hardness pushing against her almost exactly where she wanted him she found herself moaning into his mouth as though they were already in the full throes of their lovemaking. That's when they both knew that trying trying to make it upstairs was a lost cause. Nick peeled away from her reluctantly and pulled the emergency button causing the lift to grind to an abrupt halt. Once they were certain they had stopped moving Nick lifted Jess pinning her against the wall with her legs hooked round his waist.

There was no time for romance or foreplay, no time to even remove their clothes. Jess reached between them to unfasten Nick's belt her hands shaking more than they had the first time they made love. Nick kissed and licked from her neck down to her cleavage leaving a wet trail behind him. He wanted her naked so badly but there would be more time for that later.

As Jess worked the buttons on his jeans he reached a hand further under the leg he was holding to touch her anyway he could. Suddenly aware of his fingers stroking her she pulled him out of his pants running her hand up and down him slowly.

"Jess, oh God Jess I need you...please"

Jess kissed him hard as her hand guided him to where she was now throbbing almost painfully. As he pulled her underwear aside with the fingers he had been stroking her with she lowered herself down and pulled him into her.

The way Jess was feeling she didn't know whether to cry or scream the sensation of having him inside her again was almost too much. As he started to move all the pain and heartache of the past month started to fade and it was just the two of them in that moment.

Beads of sweat started to form on Nick's forehead as he gripped her thighs and pushed into her rapidly, burying his head in the crook of her neck he could feel himself losing control. The noises she was making affected him in ways he had never experienced before. It felt good, it felt so fucking good but he was still more focused on making it good for her. His hand slipped down to the back of her left knee pulling her leg up a little higher changing the angle, using the wall of the elevator as a support as he pushed her harder against it.

As Jess' moans began to match the rhythm of Nick's movements she could feel herself falling over the edge. She gripped Nick's shoulder and the back of his head as he thrust into her creating an explosion inside of her, the likes of which she had never felt before. She felt him follow close behind her, growling into her neck as he came.

He lay against her chest for another few moments as she kissed the side of his forehead tenderly, both of them still breathing heavily. As Nick's legs started to give way under the force of the pleasure he has just experienced he pulled out of her reluctantly and lowered her down to the floor. As she straightened her dress and he tucked himself back into his pants they both continued to stare each other with such relief, longing and amazement in their eyes.

Jess reached up to stroke his cheek gently with her thumb. Now that her breathing had levelled she felt her brain starting to function again.

"I guess we should talk about this huh?"

"Yeah" Nick nodded agreeably as he released the emergency button and the elevator started to rise once again.


	13. Chapter 13

In spite of their encounter just moments ago Jess started to feel nervous as she entered the loft, she felt a little like a stranger there now even though their were pieces of her everywhere around the apartment.

As Nick turned to face her she let out a small laugh as she noticed how mussed up his hair had become. She subconsciously reached up to smooth it down then dropped her hand suddenly wondering if it was still ok for her to act so intimate with him. Sensing her reticence Nick reached reached out to hold both of her hands which were still trembling a little.

"Why don't we have a drink, I think we could both use one" Nick proposed.

Jess nodded smiling at the familiarity of the gesture. She knew where she wanted things to go from here but she was scared to push anything. They were still fragile and she knew they were both still hurting from everything that had happened. As incredible as it was, one passionate encounter in an elevator wasn't going to magically fix them. They needed to know how the other felt, what they wanted, what went wrong.

Nick placed a beer in front of her which she wrapped her hands round gratefully. He pulled up a chair next to her at the dinner table and as he sat they both exhaled nervously offering each other a half smile exposing their vulnerability to one another.

As Jess scratched at the label on the bottle Nick moved his hand slowly across the table resting his fingers over her delicate wrist stroking her with his thumb slightly.

"Jess...what just happened... I want you to know I meant it. I mean I wanted it to happen."

"So did I" she pulled her arm toward her a little so his hand was now in hers as she raised her eyes to look at him.

He had forgotten how lost he got in her eyes, they had this power to pull him in when she looked at him like that. He held on to her hand, probably a little too tight but he had to touch her, scared she would disappear again if he let go.

"Nick I'm so sorry"Jess choked out as the tears began to well up in her eyes again. "I shouldn't have run away from you and I hate myself for what I did to you."

"No Jess it was me I shouldn't have let myself get so angry I should have been more understanding...I know that what you saw must have been awful but Jess...I need you to understand I would never ever do that to you."

"I know, I know you wouldn't I just got scared Nick. It's just that for the first time I felt like maybe..."

"Maybe what?"

"Maybe I COULD lose you...to someone else."

"Jess..." Nick interjected. The notion was insane to him.

"No Nick just hear me out. I was with Spencer for six years and he got bored of me, he went looking for someone else who was nothing like me. She was sexy and brash and exciting and Nick...I love you so much more, so much it scares me sometimes...and when I thought that it could happen again I freaked out."

Nick almost wanted to laugh at how absurd this all was. "Jess do you have any idea how important you are to me? You're...my God you're everything. I have spent almost every day of our relationship amazed that you're even with me. If you think that I could give you up for anyone you're crazy!"

Jess allowed herself to cry again at his words. She grasped his hands so hard her knuckles started to go white.

"I can't believe we almost lost this Nick."

"I know, we've both been so stupid. We gotta talk to each about this stuff from now on Jess."

"I think I'm finally rubbing off on you." Jess laughed as she sniffed trying to compose herself.

Nick laughed too and leaned forward to place a long kiss on her forehead as he placed his hands on either side of her head stroking her hair tenderly. He closed his eyes as he swallowed the lump in his throat that had been there for weeks. Jess held on to his wrists content to stay like that forever if she could.

As she raised her head she met his eyes which were now also teared up. She had never seen Nick this emotional before, everything she needed to know about what she meant to him was in his eyes right at that moment. She lightly touched his bottom lip with her thumb as she leaned forward to kiss him. As the kiss intensified she soon felt Nick lifting her off the chair and carrying her to his room.

Later that night Nick was still laying wide awake but this time it was for all the right reasons. He looked down and Jess was resting her chin on her forearm which was slung across his chest. As he played with her hair and stroked up and down her exposed back he felt more peaceful than he had ever felt in his life and more in love than he ever thought possible. Especially for him.

"This feels nice." Jess drawled sleepily and sated when all of a sudden she was being jostled upright abruptly as Nick hopped out of bed.

"Where are you going?" He didn't answer her but she got a nice view of his naked butt as he rifled round his desk looking for something which made her smile, biting her lower lip.

He bounced back into bed excitedly clutching an envelope.

"What's this?"

"It's your christmas present, I never got the chance to give it to you."

Jess' face went serious as she felt a wave of guilt over the fact they had missed their first christmas together but her smile slowly lifted as she saw that Nick was still beaming at her and thrusting the envelope in her direction.

"All those shifts and late nights I was pulling before christmas...well...there was a reason and that's the reason" Nick said almost shyly as he tapped the envelope now in her hands.

As Jess smiled curiously she started to peel open the envelope.

"Oh my God Nick!"

"I thought this time we could do it right...you know ...a little more fancy"

"Mexico!?" Jess gasped.

"Look at the date on the tickets."

"Nick ...that's..."

"It'll be our first anniversary." Nick smiled at her so open a lovingly she could feel herself welling up again.

"I can't believe this Nick. It's ...it's perfect."

"I considered giving them to you and Cece ...you know...when things were bad but I guess part of me knew we would work this all out so I kept hold of them."

"Nick this is unbelievable, I can't wait... I love you so much." Jess leaned forward to kiss him with everything that she had. Just as Nick was starting to get into it he felt her warm lips pull away as she jumped up out of bed.

"Wait I have yours too, it's gonna seem a little small now but..." She disappeared to her room while Nick lay back against the pillows with a contented smile.

She reappeared in the doorway holding a small box no bigger than a post-it in width. She hopped back in the bed pulling the covers around her as she handed Nick the box nervously biting her lip. Nick opened the box carefully, his mouth agape as he pulled out a very familiar looking watch.

"It's..."

"It's your dad's, the one he broke last time he was here. I got it fixed up I thought you might want to keep it...and I hope you don't mind but I got it inscribed."

Nick turned it over still feeling a little stunned.

_You and me. All in._

Nick stared at the words as he ran his thumb over them.

"Jess I don't know what to say. This is amazing...I...I just..."

"You like it?"

"Jess I love it. Nobody has ever done anything like this for me before. This means so much to me." Nick looked up at her as he fastened the watch on to his wrist. "YOU mean so much to me Jess."

He pulled her towards him as he lay back against the bed, he wrapped his arms around her as she snuggled her face into his neck. Raising his arm to take another look at the gift she had given him, he admired it fondly, it shone and glinted in the dim light of the room. Jess raised her hand too lacing her fingers through Nick's and as she did that he couldn't help but think that something shiny and glinting might look good on her hand too.

The End

**Thank you so much for reading and being so unbelievably kind with your comments you lovely people :)**


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